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F-16 To KC-135: I Thought We Had Something Magical

The following was written by an Oklahoma ANG F-16.

TULSA AIR NATIONAL GUARD BASE, Ok. — I was on a training mission about to circle Oklahoma City and head back to Tulsa when a rugged, big-boned KC-135 pulled up beside me and tipped his wing. He said he’d just left Tinker when he noticed my tail and had to say hello.

He convinced me to accompany him to Arkansas to see the Ozarks at sunset and I couldn’t say no. And then right around the border he mentioned his love of Downton Abbey.

Maybe it was that combined with the altitude but next thing you know we’re both on autopilot and I’m letting him steer his telescoping boom right into my fuel receptacle. It was so incredible I almost sprang my ejection seats. Afterwards I felt energized, like my combat radius could extend another thousand miles, but when I asked if I could keep a toothbrush at his hangar he disappeared.

Since then he hasn’t called so I continually check the UHF for messages and fly over Tinker, hoping he’ll notice. I heard some rumors that he started seeing an F-35 who swindled him out of all his savings. Oddly, I take no joy in that.

KC-135, I thought we had something magical and just want you to know it’s not too late. Maybe you’re scared of commitment, or that I’ve been stalking you constantly since that one perfect night, but don’t worry. I won’t rest until I’m under your wings once again.

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The KC135 crew then looked at their watches and realized that they were getting ready to exceed their maximum allowed flight time of 4 hours. They swiftly got on the radios and coordinated for the nearest KC10 to rendezvous with them so the exhausted crew could console their remaining gas and head home. The KC10 once again saved the day and won the war.

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