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Food Service POG suggests women are useless in the military

A Marine who served as a chef to Marine Commandant Gen. Robert Neller recently elaborated on his remarks after being eliminated on a recent episode of “Hell’s Kitchen.”

Sgt. Frank Cala doubled down on his statements claiming that female Marines were too dramatic and cannot physically endure the hardships imposed on male Food Service Specialists in the Marine Corps.

“They’ve never had to filter coffee through a sock,” he said. “In the field you have to improvise and just do what you have to do to survive.”

He went on to illustrate the difficulties of explaining to unwashed grunts why they can’t be served two carbohydrates with their meals.

“That’s like being in the shit,” Cala said. “You’re taking your life into your own hands trying to explain science to those knuckle draggers.”

The brutal realities of combat can be too much for the ladies, Cala claimed, while describing an unfortunate UGR-A mishap in Afghanistan which required him to undergo emergency reconstructive eyebrow surgery. He asserts the operational rations are too dangerous for females, since dropping plastic bags into a boiling pot of water could quickly turn dramatic.

“I’d like to see one of those chicks walk through a FOB carrying a box of Honey Buns without getting molested,” said Cala. “You better be ready for a knife fight baby.”

The reaction from female Marines has been largely indifferent.

“I wouldn’t trust him with my six in the field,” said Combat Engineer and OEF veteran Cpl. Christina Fox. “But I’d let him make me a sammich.”

Cala’s comments on the show sparked controversy, and he was removed from his current position with the Commandant. Sources say Cala has received orders to the Field Mess of 4th Recruit Training Battalion, Parris Island, South Carolina.

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This lacks funniness. I demand a refund.

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Refund granted. You have that minute that you took to read this back.

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