THE PENTAGON — In the wake of a sweeping review of military occupational specialties (MOS), the Marine Corps has revealed new gender inclusive titles, as ground combat and other traditionally male jobs will soon open to women.
“The era of ‘every Marine a rifleman’ is past and has been replaced with ‘every Marine a rock ape,’” said Capt. Philip Kulczewski, a spokesperson for Headquarters Marine Corps.
Following Navy Secretary Ray Mabus’ directive that the Marine Corps drop the word “man” from all MOS titles, the Corps thoroughly reviewed each billet, title, and job description to ensure gender neutrality in an effort to increase combat efficiency.
The Corps has release some examples of job description changes:
0300 Basic Infantry Boot
0311 Infantry Rock Ape
0321 Reconnaissance Primadonna
0351 Infantry Assault Lance Corporal, Terminal
0352 Antitank Missile-POG
Marine Corps leaders also opted to change other job titles to better match what they do. All 06 Communications occupational specialties, for instance, will end with the word “Nerd.”
0622 Digital Multi-channel Wideband Transmission Equipment Nerd
0623 Tropospheric Scatter Radio Multi-channel Equipment Nerd
0651 Cyber Network Mega-Nerd
Kulczewski admitted it was satisfying for the Corps to finally strike a meaningful blow in the War On Patriarchy.
“Besides, in all seriousness,” said Kulczewski. “We all know that ‘every Marine a rifleman’ is the biggest lie in the Corps.”