FORT HOOD, Texas — In spite of the fact you’ll be on a training mission to Qatar this Father’s Day, your neighbor Jody has informed your wife that he is “totally willing” to stand in for you, cul-de-sac sources report.
Jody says that he’s just taking one for the team.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to have to open gifts, get a fancy dinner, and do this soldier’s other husbandly duties,” said Jody from your sofa, “but it’s the least I can do when he’s overseas sacrificing for our country.”
This bold act of kindness has won over the respect of your wife. “I wasn’t sure about his intentions when he was bringing me gifts on Mother’s Day,” she commented, “but now I know that Jody just wants everyone to be happy.”
Always the humble servant, Jody has also been spotted taking your kids out for frozen yogurt and fixing the plumbing in your house, according to witnesses.
“I try not to complain, even though I really don’t like the body wash your husband had in the shower,” Jody told your wife over breakfast this morning. “But that’s okay. I brought my own.”
Jody admitted that you left big shoes to fill, but he really admires you and wants to be like you.
“Look at this beautiful family,” said Jody in the short video he emailed to you so you could enjoy Father’s Day too. “Maybe if I keep up the good deeds I’ve been doing, I’ll have a kid of my own with a woman just like your wife soon.”