California National Guard reports puzzling increase in suicides
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — California National Guard officials expressed alarm on Tuesday at a sudden and unexplained increase in suicides within its ranks.
“We went from an average rate of one death per day to 15 all of sudden,” said Capt. Landon Thomas, a spokesperson for the Guard. “It’s nuts. We had to call in our AGR guys to work five whole days a week until we figure it out.”
Maj. Gen. David Baldwin, the Adjutant General for California, vowed to take action against the unexplained epidemic.
“We are ordering all soldiers to repay any bonus money received in the past 20 years,” he told reporters on Monday. “These funds will be used to create emergency suicide prevention briefings. My lieutenants are working on the slides as we speak.”
Still, many soldiers are standing by their units despite the problems. Sgt. Tony Jones, a squad leader in the California Guard, interrupted his re-enlistment ceremony to speak with reporters. “I’m re-upping because I have faith in my command,” he said. “Our we…
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