Point/Counterpoint: Gunny, I’m not sure I understand vs. Message to Garcia, Devil Dog!

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The following is a Point/Counterpoint between a Marine lance corporal and his gunnery sergeant concerning assigned tasks and duties.

The Point is presented by Lance Cpl. Dusty Carmichael, and the counterpoint is presented by Gunnery Sgt. Luis Hernandezhernandez-Vandecampschultz.

Point: Gunny, I’ve been given this task but I’m not sure about…

Counterpoint: Message To Garcia there, Devil Dog! Make it happen!

Point: Ok, but…

Counterpoint: But nothin’! You’re cleared hot! Message To Garcia leatherneck! Get it done!

Point: Aye Gunny, but I don’t understand…

Counterpoint: What I don’t understand is why you’re still standing here wasting Marine Corps time! This is a Message To Garcia operation! Helloooooooo!

Point: Um, have you even read the book? There’s a reason the Commandant took it off the reading list.

Counterpoint: You insubordinate bastard! You don’t know shit! Men like Garcia made Marine Corps history and you’re standing around with your hands in your pockets!

Point: I don’t think anyone in the story was even in the Marine Corps, Gunny. Wasn’t Garcia a Cuban general?

Counterpoint: The Cubans are friggin’ Communists! What the hell is wrong with you? Message To Garcia! Message To Garciaaaaaaa!

Point: Gunny, I’m just asking for a little guidance here.

Counterpoint: I will guide my foot directly into your ass shit-bird! You’re giving me excuses when you should attack, attack, attack! Message! To! Garcia!

Point: Oh my God, I can’t wait until I EAS.

Counterpoint: You’re not reenlisting? You traitorous sonofabitch!