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Trump appoints David Petraeus as Foreign Affairs adviser

NEW YORK — President-elect Donald Trump on Tuesday appointed retired four-star Gen. David Petraeus as his top aide to oversee foreign affairs.

“David’s vast experience with affairs, both nationally and internationally, is unlike anyone else’s besides myself,” Trump said. “I believe he will be the key component to finding affairs that I can engage in to increase our relationships with local nationals, especially in Japan and South America.”

Trump added: “They have the best women there. Very beautiful. Following my judgment of women through my pageants, I found that they were always ranked in the top.”

Petraeus resigned from his position as CIA Director in 2012 amid charges of an extramarital affair with his biographer Paula Broadwell. In the fallout, it was learned that Petraeus had given her classified information and lied about it to federal investigators.

“John F. Kennedy, one of our best presidents, was known for his affairs and I plan to surpass his experience by reaching out to other countries. I can only hope that I can end up like him,” Trump said, apparently dismissing criticism of Petraeus’ troubled past.

Trump has also doubled-down on his plan to “drain the swamp” of Washington’s elite by appointing other former military officials that he believed had been misrepresented by the media or had been marginalized by the Obama administration.

Among them is retired Maj. Gen. Ron Lewis, a former senior aide to Defense Secretary Ash Carter who is being considered for Treasury Secretary, and Brig. Gen. Jeffrey Sinclair, who is said to be replacing Sylvia Burwell as the Health and Human Services secretary. Former Strategic Command Deputy Commander, Rear Adm. Timothy Giardina, is also rumored to be on Trump’s radar after he was spotted at his Las Vegas casino, though he was only seen at the poker tables.

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3 Comments on "Trump appoints David Petraeus as Foreign Affairs adviser"

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Member

I had an affair once, alas, my wife told herself about it.
Today, our affair consists of complaining about our backs and knees.
Well, at least until the insurance company provides a few Viagra.
Then, she can piss standing up again, like a good NCO’s wife should.

Member

Come on, aim higher! I’d rather have Petraeus as Secretary of State than Romney or Comey.

Member

Odd, previously, you railed that Vlad Putin wasn’t appointed to such posts.

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