Coast Guard under fire for saving too many straight white males

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PORTSMOUTH, N.H. — For some people, it looked like the Coast Guard was having a good year: 200 lives saved, more than 3,800 lives assisted and roughly $5.3 million in property saved. That is until independent blogger Caden Dakota pointed out the Coast Guard’s fatal flaw: The service mostly saved straight white males.

Dakota, a social activist and professional tweeter, launched his critique on Twitter by pointing out that he was triggered by a recent report showing that that there weren’t enough LGBTQ rescues.

“The Coast Guard didn’t save a single gay person in 2016 #WhiteGuard,” he tweeted. He also mentioned that the Coast Guard’s use of the phrase “man overboard” was extremely sexist.

The man’s critique came after the Coast Guard released its annual report on lives saved and property assisted, highlighting a number of times when guardsmen have put themselves in grave danger to assist the public in times of desperate need.

Dakota was troubled by the report, however, in which he found some startling trends.

“So no transgendered Asians were saved while fishing for lobster in New England?” Dakota wrote on Twitter. “Sorry this doesn’t sound like our modern society. #equality #gaylobsters.”

According to the Coast Guard’s report, multiple women and Hispanic males have been saved throughout the year. However they’re in the minority and are not millennials, Dakota explained.

Still, Dakota isn’t the first to criticize the Coast Guard. The website Jezebel also complained recently that white male culture is to blame for the service’s problems. Even after a Coast Guard spokesman pointed out that the service had little control over what gender or sexual orientation could be saved, the website called it a typical “mansplaining response.”

When asked for comment, Coast Guard spokeswoman Cmdr. Jennifer Robinson explained that the main demographic for search and rescue cases is “get me the fuck out of this job.”