YUCCA VALLEY, Calif.— The spouse of a 29 Palms Marine has been reporting a sense of confusion over the past few weeks, as the young woman doesn’t understand why her husband keeps screaming out “Chesty!” during sex.
Anita Barrows, wife of Staff Sgt. Greg Barrows, says she can’t determine whether her husband’s constant shouts of “Semper Fi, Chesty!,” “Chesty, we’re doing it!,” and “Chesty, we’re taking that hill!,” are meant to mock Anita’s lack of cleavage, or whether Greg means to show support and sympathy for his wife’s A-cup predicament.
“It’s just really hard to figure out why Greg keeps calling me that,” said the 28-year-old homemaker, who also claims that, short of having to constantly pull her husband away from watching numerous World War II documentaries when it’s time for bed, her and Greg’s marriage is perfect in every way.
“I suppose he’s trying to let me know he doesn’t care I’m not very big-breasted, but sometimes what he says just gets really weird,” Anita continued. “Like, the other night when we just finished making love, Greg lit a cigar and said, ‘Chesty, the murder hole is clear, sir!’”
“I don’t get why he called me ‘sir,’ and I really don’t get what he means by ‘murder hole,’” she said. “This whole thing is just starting to get a little creepy, and I think it’s time to talk to Greg about it.”
UPDATE: Since Barrows initially reached out to reporters, she says that she has successfully confronted her husband, and that she has convinced him to stop calling her “Chesty” while making love.
“It turns out Greg wasn’t talking about my boobs,” she explained. “He was just paying tribute to some popular Marine general from back in the day.”
“Once I realized that,” she added, “I told him to just start taking me from behind, and now we both scream out ‘MAD DOG Style!’ whenever we’re about to climax. There’s seriously nothing hotter than that.”