DUFFEL BLOG PRESENTS: Lewis Carroll gives your weekend safety brief

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’Twas libo, and the vaters moto
Did vape and vorcot in the smits:
All shitbird were the rawhide scruffs,
And the Odo scribed in fits.

“Beware the Hookenskank, my troop!
The BAH it seeks, the clap it sows!
Beware the Dependagash, it’s mate at sea
It fluffs the barrack rows!”

Top took charge sheets in his hand;
Long time the blotter foe he’d fought-
So at parade they did rest, ’til sun deep in West
Was the sight count up or not?

And, bills did rain as lascivious tip,
For Hookenskank, on pole of brass.
‘Tween the constricting flapperous’ grip,
Fell another betrothed, alas!

“And you! And you! And Article 92!”
Top cursed the blottful report.
Then came he, requesting dependa ID,
Nuptials he refused to abort.

“Hast thou wed the Hookenskank?
Come my fool, on strange thou art drunk!”
In the vaults of the bank, his accounts drawn blank,
It happens when you think with your junk.

’Twas libo, and the vaters moto
Did vape and vorcot in the smits:
All shitbird were the rawhide scruffs,
And the Odo scribed in fits.