Pentagon begins arming ‘Taliban’ militia group to fight ISIS in Afghanistan

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KABUL — Pentagon officials are hopeful new equipment and training will better prepare local militia groups, otherwise known as the “Taliban,” in sustaining the fight against a corrupt regime while simultaneously taking the fight to ISIS in Afghanistan, sources confirmed today.

“Simply put, a new plan is needed to create a sustainable and capable force that can bring security back to Afghanistan, and root out groups like ISIS,” said Gen. John Nicholson, the top American commander in Afghanistan. “And we think we finally found a plan that will work.”

In keeping with a similar strategy of supporting the “Al Qaeda” militia group in Syria, the Pentagon said it will provide select groups of Taliban fighters with advanced military training, high tech military equipment, and unlimited funding to “pursue targets of their own choosing.”

The somewhat controversial plan also calls for the provision over 20,000 anti-tank and anti-personnel mines to replace what the Taliban, and several lesser known anti-ISIS terrorist groups dub, the “incessant need to constantly improvise explosive devices.”

Select groups of fighters will also be outfitted and trained to fly various attack aircraft in order to provide anti-ISIS and anti-regime forces with a much-needed offensive air assault capability.

Pentagon plans call for the delivery of an unspecified number of AH-64 Apaches, AH-1 Cobras, and long range stealth bombers to various Taliban militia groups in support of this effort. Officials added that US military advisors would teach Taliban militias advanced military tactics to conduct complex combat maneuvers, such as blending in with civilian populations prior to conducting large-scale attacks.

“It’s very simple,” Nicholson said. “If the enemy of our enemy is our friend, our friend in this case is then our enemy, who is actually not our enemy but our friend’s enemy.”