Browsing Tag

Change Of Command

BREAKING: Your Morale

According to sources, you have been standing in formation in the rain for the past four hours waiting for some general to turn over command to some other general, and your morale is about to break. This incident comes on the heels of a…

Change-of-command fart leads to change-of-boxers

CAMP LEJEUNE, NC —  An unexpected fart during 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing's change-of-command ceremony on Tuesday led to a change of boxers for Sgt. Maj. Samuel Beckett, his wife Patti confirmed. "Brand new ones he just got for Christmas from…

Outgoing Commander: ‘I Still Hate You All’

The following address was delivered by Capt. Vince Williams at his Headquarters Company change of command ceremony. Good morning everyone. I won’t start with our battalion motto because the very sound of it makes my stomach curdle and my…

Outgoing Company Commander: ‘I Hate You All’

The following is a transcript of outgoing company commander Capt. Vince Miller’s change of command speech: Good morning everyone. I’d normally begin with our unit motto, but after two and a half years of starting every meeting and…