Tag: Pearl Harbor

Sailor commemorates Pearl Harbor anniversary by drinking 75 sake bombs

On December 7, 2016

OAHU, HI — A sailor stationed at the Pearl Harbor naval base last night commemorated the anniversary of the attack that brought the US into World War II by downing 75 sake bombs, sources confirmed. According to fellow sailors, Petty Officer 3rd Class Henry Quigg hatched the plan to take on enemies of his grandfathers’ at a local […]

Obama to apologize to Japan for Pearl Harbor

By G-Had

On June 2, 2016

WASHINGTON – Just days after President Obama directly apologized to Japan for dropping the atomic bombs in World War II, White House sources now say the President is mulling an apology to Japan for

Pearl Harbor Vet Splashes Low-Flying F/A-18 During Memorial Parade

By Donnell

On December 7, 2015

PEARL HARBOR, Hawaii — A Pearl Harbor veteran racked up his 198th kill when he shot down a friendly F/A-18 Hornet today. Chief Petty Officer John Wilson, who was just a Gunner’s Mate in 1941, dow

Japanese Emperor Admits Pearl Harbor ‘Kind of a Dick Move’

By Maxx Butthurt

On December 7, 2015

CHIYODA, Japan — This morning, on the 73rd anniversary of Pearl Harbor, Emperor Akihito admitted in a public comment that the Japanese sneak attack that brought the United States into World War Two was “kind of a dick move.” “We are taking the time to express Our regret for a wrong committed over 70 years ago,” the […]

Pearl Harbor Veteran Almost Starts WWIII at Japanese-US Training Event

By Maxx Butthurt

On September 25, 2013

YAKIMA TRAINING CENTER, WA – Tensions are high between the United States and Japan after the closing ceremony of Rising Thunder 13 was ruined by a disgruntled Navy veteran of World War II. The exer

Pearl Harbor Survivor Accosted By Airport Security

By G-Had

On July 17, 2013

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Security guards at San Francisco International Airport have come under severe criticism after an elderly Pearl Harbor survivor complained that they confiscated one of his war mem

Marine Lance Corporal Tries To Attack Japan After Watching ‘Pearl Harbor’ Movie

By Paul Sharpe

On March 25, 2012

KANEOHE BAY, HI – A Marine stationed aboard Marine Corps Base Hawaii recently went on a personal mission to attack Japan. Lance Corporal James Vanhue, of 1st Battalion, 3rd Marines, described as a “warrior drinker” by his platoon, went on a drunken bender that started on Friday night. His latest vendetta, against the tiny island […]