Marine Lance Corporal Tries To Attack Japan After Watching ‘Pearl Harbor’ Movie
KANEOHE BAY, HI - A Marine stationed aboard Marine Corps Base Hawaii recently went on a personal mission to attack Japan.
Lance Corporal James Vanhue, of 1st Battalion, 3rd Marines, described as a "warrior drinker" by his platoon, went on a drunken bender that started on Friday night.
His latest vendetta, against the tiny island nation, began in his barracks room. As he drank what he called "a ridiculous amount of beer" and watched the 2001 film "Pearl Harbor", he became enraged.
"I can't believe Danny died," as he took another swig of Budweiser and sobbed. "These damn Japs [sic] need to pay!"
His roommate, Lance Corporal Jason Evers, tried to calm him with a history lesson.
"Dude. It happened like, 60 something years ago. We already whooped their ass."
Unfortunately Vanhue would not listen. As the credits came across the screen, the Lance Corporal went to his wall locker.
"I've got to pack my gear," he said, as he shoved throwing stars, an entrenching tool, and extra socks in his ruck sack.…
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