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1st Marine Division Paves Way for ‘New Corps’, Changes Unit Logo


Camp Pendleton, CA – Officials from 1st Marine Division announced on Tuesday that they would be making alterations to the unit’s famous blue diamond emblem. The surprising move comes after a string of recent national controversies involving Marine personnel and their misconduct in Afghanistan. Division leadership decided it was best to combat the increasing negative press with a symbol of change.

“As we all know, First Marine Division’s official motto is ‘No better friend, no worse enemy,’” said spokesman 1st Lt. Alex Lim during a news conference.  “But we want to put more emphasis on the ‘better friend’ part.”

The division’s logo—famous for its blue diamond, red number one, and branded Guadalcanal—will be replacing the name of one of America’s most famous battles with a less threatening noun: Utopia. It will also have a more pleasant background instead of the dark and intimidating blue color of years past.

“We just wanted to let the world know that while our organization may primarily deal in warfare, that egalitarian society we all dream of is still within our grasp and can be won by the gentle and loving hearts of the Marines in this division,” added Lim. “By replacing the name of a bygone battle with our hope for the future, we can show the world that we truly are your best friends forever.”

The announcement has been well received by many of the division’s Marines.

PFC Andrew Seibert, who checked in two days ago, said, “I’m very pleased with this decision. The days of puppy throwing, Nazi  1st Marine Division’s old and highly intimidating logo

flagging, and peeing on other human beings are over.  Those weren’t the values I was taught in my Marine Corps upbringing at boot camp and SOI.  That was the old Corps. We’re here to be citizens of the new Corps, and I for one am proud to be new Corps.”

But not all Marines were happy with this change.General James Mattis, the former 1st MarDiv leader and outgoing CENTCOM Commander, said: “This is absolute bullshit. I think I’ll call up Al Gray so we can drink like a couple of Lance Corporals and bitch about it for a couple of hours.”

Due to the ever-changing dynamics of the Afghanistan conflict, many Marine Corps insiders say that there will be—and already is—a number of smaller units experimenting with logo and motto changes.It’s already been reported that 1st Reconnaissance Battalion is looking into changing their official motto from “Swift, Silent, Deadly,” to “Happy, Polite, Friendly.”

Indeed, it seems the precedent being set by the leadership of 1st Marine Division could start a string of name changes from different chains-of-command.

When asked if these name changes could adversely affect the morale or combat effectiveness of Marines, Lim shot back, “Absolutely not.  In fact, we’re certain that a Marine handing out hugs and smiles can do a lot more for the world than one handing out an archaic notion of violence.”

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  1. This is bull shit, what are you turning into a bunch of pussy The Marines are the Marines and will all way be. Many of us have died for what it stands for. If you are so hot to change it , I can just say one thing – get the fuck out and let a Marine be a Marine NO Pussy in the Marines, No Gay as well, the only ones here are Marines. We will get the job done – no mater what it takes. They can all way change the name of San Francisco to San Gay Francisco home of the Gay’s , pussy and nuts , just let the Marines a lone
    Semper Fi to all the good Marines out there

  2. This is bull crap it appears the idiots who made this decision are doing it to be politically correct in San Francisco.

  3. I’m in the first mar div. And if somebody could please send me some confermation info on this article.

    • I’ve been looking into this since the story broke on TDB and haven’t been able to find any confirmation of the unit badge yet, Ian. But I’m still looking. There is also a rumor circulating that the Corps is considering a branch-wide change of face to reflect this idea of the new, softer Marine Corps. If you have a look at the image in the link below you can get an idea of where this is all headed.

      The above image is a proposed billboard, which the Marine Corps hopes will attract MLP fans to the recruiting centers. My guess is that the Corps wants to employ Ponies and Bronies in public affairs units to spread the word of friendship everywhere the Marines go.

  4. I was surprised they didn’t change it when don’t ask don’t tell was repealed. A nice rainbow 1 would be nice.. Guess I have to change my tattoo now

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