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Military Times Releases ‘Hit Piece’ Against Duffel Blog, Calls Stories ‘Fake’


WASHINGTON — Senior editors and contributors to the popular military news website Duffel Blog were outraged today after learning of a recent “hit piece” released by Military Times.

The story, which is portrayed as an exposé of the Duffel Blog website, was released this week to all Military Times publications, including Marine, Army, Navy, and Air Force Times.

The author of the story was Gina Harkins, Staff Writer for the Marine Times.

“I absolutely cannot believe the levels that Military Times will go to try to marginalize our news organization,” said Duffel Blog founder Paul Szoldra. “We are the #1 military news organization in the world. I have always said that we would take on and beat Mil-Times and Stars & Stripes.”

“The jealousy in their newsrooms is quite obvious,” he added.

The story begins by saying Szoldra is a “former Marine infantryman [who] runs a fake military news website.”

Contributing editor SGT B said that this is clearly a case of anger over the high standards of quality, journalistic integrity, and the exclusive, breaking stories that Duffel Blog always provides.

“The article talks about our exclusive story on Colonel Richoux banning chairs at MacDill Air Force base as if it were a joke,” said SGT B, who is currently on assignment in Afghanistan. “Tell that to the airmen who are currently without goddamn chairs in their office at MacDill. Ask them if it’s a joke!”

One reader of Duffel Blog, who is a self-described “Duffel Blog News Junkie” and avid commenter, took to Facebook to voice his concerns.

“I first learned of DB when they broke the exclusive about Vietnam Vets outraged over the USS Jane Fonda,” said Ron Johnson. “I immediately took to the comments and told the world that Jane Fonda was a communist whore, then I became a fan for life.”

“This type of slander against a legitimate and important news organization is really uncalled for.”

While many readers of the Military Times newspapers may find themselves confused by the story, Szoldra believes that eventually “the truth will win the day.”

“I think that the real people who enjoy the news that we provide know that we are the absolute best,” said Szoldra. “I mean, really, these people [Military Times reporters] probably sit in their cushy offices in D.C. wearing Tapout gear, which as you know, the DoD has already banned for all military personnel.”

Szoldra continued: “It just goes to show you how disconnected these so-called ‘military reporters’ really are from their audience.”

The Duffel Blog legal team, led by Barracks Lawyer Private First Class Evan Rodriguez, is exploring the possibility of a $20 million lawsuit against The Times over allegations of slander, libel, emotional distress, sexual harassment, and the wrongful death of our beloved kitten, Mittens, who committed suicide due to the stress the article caused him.

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  1. Now I AM GLAD I DID NOT GO TO COLE LAGE’ !! 90 day shakin & bakin pruved dat whilyst I waz miss pelin werdz on “miey lie’s” Taught ME SHIT RUNS DOWN HILL CUSZ THAT’S USUALLY ALL THAT CUMZ OUTTA SUMA THOSEZ THIER COLLEGE EDUMACATED MOUTHS IS SHIT! Rank to me has always been a REAL BAD SMELL! Not a MONOpoly on BRAINS OR BALLZ! Not PC! on IFR on course on glide path 100-50-25-you should be able to SEE THE RUNaWAYz wheels DOWN! Who just got PUT DOWN! on THIER KNEES? no one who wasn’t there ALREADY!! BDFB sorry I just GO OFF& on& off& ON

  2. Dey kiwwed KITTEEE?? TDB #1 all mil mewz # 1o,ooo!! BDFB in/out/ some where between lost & found/ state of confusion/Corner of telephone & telephone!/Oscar (1) Bravo( brain) Charlie (cell) Lima Email Lu Lu(LEFT) OBCL. BDFB ? 62 yrs old and I have to dumb dn. to the electronically thigamabobed edumakated?! Lookin like that 2 mike echo! Oscar unky TA TA !

  3. This is appaulling!!! How dare the Army Times run the exemplary reputation of the TDB through the mud. Such atrocious behavior. I find TDB as my trusted news source. I gave up Fox news long time ago. I agree, $20 million is way too low….$20 Trillion might help with the PTSD incurred.

  4. That Military Times article was disgusting. Here’s just one example of their lies and mistruths:

    “‘I think we’ve proven that infantry guys are not stupid,’ Szoldra said.”

    How does a supposed “newspaper” get away with such obvious falsehoods? Whatever happened to journalistic integrity?

  5. Alas, poor wee Mittens, we barely knew ye!……those eevil bastids probably even took all his Friskies.

  6. Mittens was such a good cat. Knew how to take a shit in the toilet and flush it. I’m gonna miss that bastard.

  7. I will be assembling my team of Steve “snake eyes” Jordan and Mike “the goth SF” Wilson and paying those sons a bitches a little visit!

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