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Dishonorable NCO Forced To Commit Ritual Suicide

Seppuku has become an increasingly popular method of discipline in the Marines. Here, former-Sergeant Major Carlton Kent demonstrates proper decapitation techniques.

FOB GERONIMO, AFGHANISTAN – As the light of the full moon shone over the zen garden in back of the company combat operations center, Captain Jaisun Tyson presided over the seppuku, or ritual suicide, of his dishonorable retainer, Corporal Michael Melendez.

Prior to the event, Corporal Melendez had spent several hours in the garden, meditating over his failure to properly ensure that all his junior Marines had completed their Leading Marines MCI and his commanding officer’s subsequent order to “go kill yourself“.

Battalion Sergeant Major John Burke, known throughout the Marine Air Ground Task Force for his skills as a “second”, stood behind Corporal Melendez holding an M1859 non-commissioned officers sword issued to him specifically for the occasion.

Removing his desert digital blouse, revealing a white PT shirt underneath which symbolized the purity of his intentions, Corporal Melendez carefully and meticulously folded the blouse so that only the Eagle, Globe, and Anchor were visible on top.

Corporal Melendez then placed the garment under his knees to ensure that he remained in the proper, dignified position.

Following the assent of Captain Tyson, Corporal Melendez drank the two traditional farewell cups of sake, heated to the customary 98.3 °C in an MRE flameless ration heater.

As there were no virgins located on the base, a local Afghan National Police official had brought his dancing boy to record Corporal Melendez’s death poem, which he dictated to the boy:

The swept office floor,
with the lone ant marching past,
smells like Simple Green.
Though none noticed him but me,
he dragged that bee all the same.

Following the poem, the Company Police Sergeant brought an unlacquered wooden table with Corporal Melendez’ M9 Bayonet.

Handing off his Common Access Card to the Battalion Supply Officer, Corporal Melendez picked up his bayonet, looked wistfully at the garden’s shrine to Colonel Chesty Puller, and seemed to collect his thoughts.

At this point, Corporal Melendez yelled the traditional infantry kiai of “EAS!” and drove his bayonet deep into his left side below the belly.

Slowly cutting upwards diagonally, Corporal Melendez then repeated the process on his right side until his chest bore the crossed rifles that symbolize the rifleman ethic of the Marine infantryman.

Standing behind him, Sergeant Major Burke then brought his NCO sword down in a smooth motion, neatly severing seven-eighths of Corporal Melendez’ neck.

For a moment a silence  hung over the garden, broken only by the low gushing sound of blood flowing from the neck and head of the late Corporal Melendez.

Sergeant Major Burke then wiped his sword on an “Honor Courage Commitment” card, which he presented to the Division Sergeant Major, who had flown in from Camp Leatherneck to witness the event.

The dishonored sword was subsequently given to the Afghan National Police official to use on convicts.

Captain Tyson then returned to his ceremony of viewing the heads of junior enlisted Marines taken by his Company First Sergeant in lieu of non-judicial punishment.

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  1. I object strenuously to the adoption of the traditional Samurai ceremony by the Marines. While I have respect for outmoded traditions, they should have just stuck with the simple, here is your pistol and round, do the right thing action.
    Stick with what you know.

  2. I worked with a bunch of damn stooges in Helmand Province, and had I been able to effect this kind of punishment you can be damn sure our operations would have run a lot smoother. I bet this gave Captain Wedley the Disciplinator a hardon.

    • you know – there is a lesson in this from another eastern power (China) for it was written in Sun Tzu’s great tome of knowledge . . . and it came to pass that there was a certain general being pinged by his emperor about the discipline of the troops = the general implored the emperor that he needed full control to effect proper discipline – the emperor was not convinced but allowed the general to illustrate his point, which he did to wit: the ladies of the court were assembled in the square and formed into columns. The general told each leading element that they were commanders and then he instructed the commanders in a series of drill to which he told the commanders to instruct thier ‘troops’ and asked if there were questions – he only got giggles in response – the general explained again and again asked if there were any questions – again giggles. At this point the general said “if a leader instructs and the subordinates do not understand, he is to blame, but if he instructs and the subordinates do understand they are to blame – he then had the leading elements executed. He told the new leading elements that they are commanders and went through it again – there were no giggles and the ladies drilled all afternoon without error. The emperor who was unhappy to lose a set of concubines nonetheless gave the general carte blanche to do what he wanted with the army. Here endeth the lesson . . .

      • CPT 2003, That’s really more of an Army lesson: just keep getting rid of leaders until you find some who will do exactly as you command, no questions asked. A more Marine strategy was practiced by King Goujian of Yue, who filled the first three ranks of his army with condemned prisoners, told that if they failed to obey his orders he would have their families put to death. On his command, all three ranks simultaneously killed themselves (according to legend, by cutting off their own heads), sending the enemy army into a panic. Before the enemy could recover, the remainder of King Goujian’s army overran them. Here endeth the lesson. . . make your opponents think you’re batshit fucking crazy.

        • I prefer Vlad the Impaler. (aka the real Dracula) He exectuted thousands of peasants by impalement so that the armies marching towards his capital would see what he had in store for them. They turned around and went home.

        • ^ Roger that – but what a waste of ‘Marines’ – point taken though – hmmmm – let’s try this (work with me) the purpose of the Marine rifle squad is to “locate, close with , and destroy the enemy by close combat and fire & maneuver” meaning that those same marines will advance onto and through an objective until they take it or until there are not any more Marines – and you are correct – that is a basic difference in the training /fighting mentality of 0311 Marines and 11B Soldiers. That written – all Marines (except the females and Bandsmen) are Infantry Riflemen and then something else (2631 in my case) not so in the Army – that’s part of the reason Marines qualify KD and can accurately engage point targets at near the maximum effective area range of the M16A2 – as they say on the Island “we train the worlds best marksmen” the only thing in the Army that is semi comparable to an infantry Marine is a Ranger and that is a quasi-special force in the Army (as compared to the Spcecial Forces / Delta who are) – so – if you think of it in those terms – the whole Marine Corps is a ‘special force’ and even then there are elite Force Reconaissance Marines who are even more ‘all that.’ Cheers!.

          • CPT 2003, if you honestly believe that old “every Marine a rifleman” mantra, your motoboner is drawing the blood from your brain. 1)Show me one rifle squad in the Marine Corps that really would, in reality, blindly advance onto an objective to the last man. 2)Devils may be studs and all, but the Ranger Regiment is at a completely different level from even the most “special operations capable” MEU that ever sailed. 3)Nine support Marines do not an Army rifle squad make. The USMC puts out some pretty good TV commercials, but grunts are grunts, pal. Your comment seems like autofellatio.

  3. And senior enlisted talk about discipline problems… I say that discipline has finally reached the level it needs to be. I’ve told HUNDREDS of junior Marines to kill themselves in teh past and not a single one of them ever did.

    Cpl Melendez is going pla… well, HE’S not going places but he damn sure set an example for others to follow.

  4. Incredible, moving, and dignified. Hopefully our Corps will continue to regain our lost or dying traditions and occurrences such as this will become more common. Semper Fidelis.

  5. hmmmmmm . . . this one might (note I wrote might) be over the top – a moment of silence for the late CPL . . .

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