CAMP LEJEUNE, NC – As the military marks the one year anniversary of the repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) policy today, the Marine Corps top enlisted leader said “there is still work to be done.”
In an exclusive interview with Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps Michael Barrett, Duffel Blog reporters asked how he felt about the progress made so far.
“Well obviously, I’m quite pleased with the progress we’ve made,” Barrett said, “but there is still work to be done. For example, this morning I had the opportunity to visit the barracks of 3/8 and, while taking a leak during a walk-through inspection, I observed someone had written ‘Corporal Hanks sucked First Sergeant’s dick for his stripes’ in the head with a sharpie pen. So, there is still work left to be done.”
During the talk, the interview was interrupted by a Lance Corporal yelling on the passageway. “That’s the gayest fucking shit I’ve ever heard!”
Sergeant Major Barrett winced and remarked, “that’s what I’m talking about. Marines like that who still can’t get with the program.”
Walking slowly with the Sergeant Major as he spoke, Barrett detailed programs put in place to increase sensitivity within the Corps.
“Obviously, as Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps, I am tasked with taking care of all my Marines, gay or straight, no matter whether I agree with it or not,” he stated, “and, as a Marine, I carry out my task to the best of my ability.”
“You can suck my dick, Smitty!” a voice exclaimed from a second-story barracks window. Sergeant Major Barrett shook his head. “It’s just going to take time, you know. I mean, I remember when I first joined the Corps, we were able to use such language and not worry about having to offend anyone. It’s different now. Just because we’re at war doesn’t excuse it.”
Beyond DADT, Barrett was also asked about the failure of the Expeditionary Fighting Vehicle, along with the F-35 — rumored to be replacing the aging AV-8B Harrier jets.
“Well, you know something,” Sergeant Major began, “I’m really glad you asked me about that, because the Commandant has made it a personal priority to…” He was cut off by the stern voice of a sergeant who had a young Marine in the front-leaning rest next to the open front door of the duty hut.
“You’ve fucked yourself and the rest of the squad for the last time, suck nuts!” the Sergeant screamed. “your constant faggot whining and butt-hurt to the platoon sergeant isn’t going to cut it anymore!”
Sergeant Major Barrett made fists and clenched his jaw as he heard the sergeant berate the young Marine. “Anyway, as I was saying,” he continued, “the Commandant has made it a personal priority to implement an effective replacement for both the aging AAV as well as the AV-8 Harrier. He wants his Marines to have the best equipment, affordable to the American taxpayer.”
“I didn’t think I needed to bring those NVGs to the field, sergeant,” the Private sobbed, his arms shaking from muscle fatigue.
“Goddamit, that’s enough!” Sergeant Major Barrett screamed as he ran to the disturbance. The sergeant standing there immediately snapped to parade rest as Sergeant Major Barrett lit into him.
“What the mother fuck is wrong with your butt-fucking infantry squad, sergeant?,” he screamed. “Why the fuck do you have some cock-sucking whiny piece of shit making excuses about not carrying prescribed gear to the field and why the fuck are you having him do push-ups in the goddamn duty hut when he should be getting his shit pushed in behind the barracks moving fighting holes! Goddammit, this shit would never fucking fly in the Marine Corps I was in!”
The Sergeant Major stopped himself as he straightened out his utility blouse and shot a worried glance over his shoulder. He then stated the interview was over and stormed off.