“OK, I know you guys can’t bat .1000, but seriously, don’t just publish everything you find,” complained reader Rich Adams.
“When the article said how the CO held a formation to inform his troops that he was ‘a cock-gobbling ass pirate’ I wasn’t laughing. I was cringing. A real CO would never do that. A real CO would delegate that kind of announcement to his Executive Officer. It’s little mistakes like that which just ruin the piece.”
Other readers, like Jason Souslee, said that it read like a stream-of-conscious posting with no actual literary value.
“This is just a page of pure crap: it has no theme, the spelling and grammar are horrible, and who exactly is Senior Airmen Michael Williams and why does he suck shit through a straw?”
“Around halfway through, the article stops and doesn’t even follow it’s own storyline anymore. It just turns into an anti-Semitic invective against the writer’s CO and ‘Jew Mexico’, whatever that means.”
As usual, several readers somehow managed to take the article literally.
“I think it’s very brave for an Airman to have the courage to tell his men that he is ‘so fucking queer for cancelling libbo’,” said Brian Handy. “He should get a medal!”
“I’m very concerned about an entire unit where all the officers sit around shoving pencils up each others ass every day,” said Michelle Linch. “That could lead to an infection. Seriously, where is their medic?”
Duffel Blog creator Paul said he had done what he could to fix the article.
“At least I got him to remove his last line, ‘I FUCKING HATE ALL OF THEM AND WISH THEY WOULD FUCKING DIE LOLZ ROTFLMAO’, on the grounds that it had nothing to do with either his dick being big or his CO being a fag.”
Paul was unsure how the negative reception would impact tomorrow’s article by Awesomus, which the author titled “All Women In Uniform Are Cock-Sucking Whores”.
Check out After Action with Max & Paul, an awesome new podcast featuring the creators of Terminal Lance and Duffel Blog.