Marine Hospitalized After Confrontation with Grizzly Bear
SCOTTSDALE, AZ — A Marine reservist is in critical condition after grappling with a fully grown grizzly bear yesterday in his suburban home.
Similar in vein to several recent incidents, the bear broke into the home of Sergeant Sean Bush, who promptly engaged the gargantuan grizzly in hand-to-hand combat.
"I was just sitting in my room around midnight, playing some Skyrim, when I heard a crash from downstairs. When I went to investigate, I couldn't believe what I saw."
The sergeant says that was when his instincts took over.
"Then my training kicked in, and I assumed a good basic warrior stance."
Marine Corps Martial Arts Program (MCMAP) Instructor Sergeant Jon Coley says that while MCMAP is very effective for neutralizing an opponent in close quarters, hand-to-hand engagements are "not very effective against a 450-fucking-pound, razor clawed death machine."
That didn't stop Sgt Bush from trying to pacify the ursine behemoth with a rear naked choke. When that failed, according to his stateme…
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