Blasting Shrill Whistle Throughout Ship Great For Morale, Navy Study Finds
NORFOLK, VA — A surprising US Navy study recently found the greatest way to increase shipboard morale was to blast earsplitting whistles over the intercom at random intervals.
“We were surprised at the results,” said Force Master Chief Rachel Michaels. “We thought better food or larger berthings would make sailors happier. Turns out the thing they like the most are whistles so loud they can cause pain.”
“Our study found the only thing sailors like more than a boatswain’s mate’s whistle over the 1MC is sounds of pure feedback from the speakers at maximum volume,” Michaels added, screaming over jet engine blasts on a carrier deck. “So we’re going to try doing that too. We also expect all sailors to take our hearing conservation program seriously.”
“Oh yeah, the whistles are great,” said Aviation Ordnanceman Second Class Howard Davis. “At 0600 we get woken up by a whistle that’s loud as hell, and it’s followed by another one that’s a minute and a half long. It’s the best way to start the mo…
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