Veterans Affairs Announces Claims Backlog Cleared, Technology Key Factor

A VA employee loads up 'Black Energy Crystals' to power the FIRE-V scanning system
A VA employee loads up 'Black Energy Crystals' to power the FIRE-V scanning system

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Department of Veterans Affairs announced today that the massive backlog of claims has been “reduced to a manageable level,” according to an official statement.

“We typically see a huge workload with education benefits needs around October and February to coincide with the school year,” said spokesman Ian Johnson. “But a combination of technology and hard working claims processors have reduced the backlog and substantially sped up the process.”

The 27,000 employees recently hired by the VA to stand around the office water cooler “has been a big help,” according to Johnson, but it hasn’t been the only factor.

“We’ve reduced complaints and new claims to basically zero in the past week by making a simple change: turning off our phones,” Johnson said confidently. “Veterans calling in and asking for an agent are told to call back later, which really helps us out with getting ahead and reducing the caseload.”

He went on to speak about new technological breakthroughs that VA has produced.

“In the past, we’ve had 2 or 3 claims processors standing around an old paper shredder,” said Johnson. “It was grossly inefficient. We could only clear ten to fifteen veteran claims per hour that way. We’ve already installed the new Future Issue Request Evaluator-Veteran system in four regional processing offices and they’ve been very successful.”

The FIRE-V system is a completely automated system that claims processors now use, which is credited with reducing processing time from 22 days in the past, to a current average of 487 days — an astonishing 2114% improvement.

“How it works is basically the employee takes the veterans’ records and inserts them into this slot here,” Johnson said, as he pointed to a soot-colored opening. “What’s really amazing about this machine is that you can put in hundreds of records and it will scan them all simultaneously.”

“In the office, we nicknamed it ‘The Burn Pit’ because it burns through records much faster than our old systems could,” he added.

The Veterans Affairs spokesman went on to say that they are upgrading the FIRE-V system to handle benefits appeals as well, through the use of a complex conveyor belt system directly from the mailroom into the “burn pit” for further processing.


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17 Comments

  1. i’m looking forward to waiting my 487 days to receive my notice for ashes. i think the FIRE-V is a great system. Look at all that carbon dioxide they’re pushing back into the atmosphere! think of all those healthy trees that are going to grow with that so they can be cut down, shredded, and made into paper for more forms to be filled out in tripliciate to go into the FIRE-V system. Think of all the physical activity those 27,000 extra employees are going to have processing the claims in this manner! Also, just look at the improved efficiency we will get when all those employees are laid off as a part of the sequestration that’s coming right after the election.

  2. My favorite was ” …no you cannot re-enlist due to your medical status, but I see that you’ve been through an MEB and returned to duty”

  3. Capt. Obes, this is Kilo One-Six , Sitrep, Over, Army wife is sick of your cyber stalking “break” and wants you to suck it. Kilo One-Six out….

  4. I got injured and walk with a cane. I was medically separated for the injury. The VA still has not processed my claim and its been over a year and a half. I need another surgery on my knee and the VA is saying they can’t do it until my claim comes back. The VA system sucks, if you are still active and making comments about than you have no clue what its like. You have a different priority when you have to deal with the VA, don’t worry when you get out you will see and understand where we are coming from.

  5. Laughed so hard I spewed coffee all over my monitor. I’m just glad my appeal was completed (in 782 days) before it met the FIRE-V system. Keep em coming.

  6. I am so confused. I thought this was a satire website…
    Now you are reporting the facts, except maybe about the FIRE-V. I am sure they still use the old File 13 (AKA: burn-barrels). Why buy something new when you can get an old rusty barrel, uh, I mean, File 13 and a book of matches?

    • Because they have all this extra money laying around they had to spend it somewhere or they would have their budget reduced next year.

      • Yeah, Doc, I guess that’s true. The VA does receive a lot of money under the guise of “helping” the vets.
        That money has to go somewhere. You can only do so many team-building exercises in Las Vegas or Hawaii, before it gets boring.

        • “You can only do so many team-building exercises in Las Vegas or Hawaii”
          You my friend are a genius!

  7. I think your numbers got mixed up:

    “….with reducing processing time from 22 days in the past, to a current average of 487 days…”

    should probably be

    “…with reducing processing time from 487 days in the past, to a current average of 22 days…”

          • Sig imagine all the dumbassery you have ever dealt with in the military then multiply it by 1000% then add lazy civilians who show up for a check. It has gotten better then worse…

            Hell I have a great uncle who had a claim denied because the Pacific wasn’t a combat zone for the Navy during WWII. Yes it gets that retarded…

          • The VA system has gotten a helluva lot better over the last few years. They have sped up processing times, and when I needed a surgery they couldn’t provide, they allowed me to choose whom they contracted for it. Not too bad.

            BTW, LT, I see you comment nonstop on every great article here on the Blog, don’t you have a platoon that needs training? Your PSG must be livid…

          • CPT Obes,

            If you are albe to Follow this guy that closely, shouldn’t you be working as well? Pot, meet kettle…
            And further more, suck it Captain. it’s called creepy cyber stalking, and you are doing it right.

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