Wounded Warrior Assaults Five In Bar Brawl
ARLINGTON, VA – Police were called last night to the scene of Jason's Tap, a popular bar in Arlington, after a U.S. Marine who lost both legs in Iraq became belligerent and assaulted five other patrons who were watching a football game.
Sergeant Jonathan Coleman is facing charges of unruly conduct, assault, disturbing the peace, and forcible sodomy with a bottle of Happenin' Habanero wing sauce.
Multiple eyewitnesses reported that a group of regular customers had gathered for a quiet evening of watching New York thrash the shit out of Dallas, when "the door flew open and in rolled this guy in a wheelchair wearing a Dallas jersey and a USMC hat," according to witness Anthony Derren.
After the bar patrons stood and broke into a spontaneous applause, Sergeant Coleman allegedly responded, "Well well fucking well, what have we here!?!? Looks like another squad from the pussy platoon who doesn't want to fight for their country."
Sergeant Coleman was described by patrons as visibly intoxicated, …
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