Public Affairs Marine Suicide Note Praises New Base Exchange
By CAMP LEJEUNE, NC –Members of the Camp Lejeune Base Public Affairs were saddened by last week’s tragic suicide of Sergeant Jay Dorsey, a Public Affairs Marine, but proud that his last note highlighted the many features that can be found at the new base exchange.
“While I can no longer endure the pain and sorrow that is my life, at least I can be assured that the men and women aboard Marine Corps Base Camp Lejeune will continue to enjoy top quality service and bargain prices at the Exchange,” Sergeant Dorsey wrote just before hanging himself.
“In fact, I bought this rope there at 5% off the normal sales price. What a deal!”
Staff Sergeant Edward Lindsay, Dorsey’s supervisor, showed selected parts of the note to Duffel Blog reporters.
“It’s as if the walls of my spacious, comfortable barracks room are closing in,” began Dorsey’s note, which was several pages long and included multiple high-quality pictures taken by Combat Camera.
“It started when I found my now ex-wife Sarah cheating on me with fellow Marine Sergeant Ryan Hoyt, an Eagle Scout from beautiful Madison, Indiana. As a Marine Corps wife, Sarah has the hardest job in the Marine Corps, and Sergeant Hoyt, as a sergeant of Marines, exemplifies our values of honor, courage, and commitment, with four deployments made in defense of our nation.”
Sergeant Dorsey added that the sense of alienation which led to his suicide was in no way caused by the base’s outstanding Single Marine Program, which he pointed out now offers regular trips for golfing, paintball, camping, and vacations to the Bahamas.
His letter ended with an upbeat tone.
“My only regret is that I have to leave my beloved Corps, and all the motivation and esprit de corps that accompanies a lifetime of military service. However, in my death, I hope to draw attention to a serious matter: this November 7 has an Athletic Shoe seminar at the Main Exchange from 9:30 am to 2 pm, with free consultations by the base podiatrist, provided by your base exchange: the place where quality meets savings!”
5% off rope…not bad.
Weak, I expect more TDB
This wasn’t the best satire…
You’re not the best commenter.
I’m hard right now