Sergeant Major Angered By Lack of Asbestos In Newly Constructed Barracks
FORT CARSON, CO - Command Sergeant Major Allen Gibson of the 24th Air-to-Air Combat Drone Squadron, upon inspecting barracks built for his Battalion, became irate after being told that no asbestos or other hazardous materials were used in the construction process.
Upon arrival to the construction site the Sergeant Major began sharpshooting the foreman as if he were sitting before a promotion board. Gibson, known for his "Old Army" ways, wanted to ensure his Soldiers had the best living accomodations available.
"Is that lead paint that you all used on the exterior of this fine building?," inquired Gibson.
Upon hearing that lead paint was banned due its negative effects on the central nervous system, which include decrease mental function, SGM Gibson "went apeshit," according to witnesses on the scene.
"Wait, decreased mental function, we don't fucking require our Soldiers to be some sort of Einstein, or expert in rocket scientry [sic]. Decreased mental function is a plus in my book. It's a…
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