FORT JACKSON, SC – Soldiers of the 195th Infantry Brigade are unsure whether Command Sergeant Major Joe Bowden is intentionally doing an impression of comedian Bill Cosby or if he is so out of touch with today’s soldiers that any similarity is accidental.
“I’m 50/50 at this point whether he’s doing it on purpose or not,” reported Sergeant First Class George Valentine, a platoon sergeant in the 195th IN BDE’s HHC. “The other day, he was muttering under his breath behind a formation of basic training units about ‘the new soldiers, with their twitterings and their iPaddles and their fligem-flagem Facebook. The fact that he used the term ‘fligem-flagem’ made me think he was doing an impression of the Cos, but maybe that means something in Germany, where he was stationed for twelve or thirteen years.”
Other NCOs who have worked with CSM Bowden found it just as difficult to determine whether the CSM is punking the entire brigade by intentionally channeling the iconic 80s comic—who starred in The Cosby Show, I Spy, and Leonard Part 6—or if he is just a very strange man.
On his personal Facebook page, Master Sergeant Wade Hoskins wrote, “Sergeant Major was visiting the DFAC the other day and acting pretty normal, you know, yelling at soldiers for having their hands in their pockets in line and inspecting people’s patches to make sure they were velcroed on right. But then he started hollering about the lack of availability of Jell-O pudding pops at the ‘dangum DFAC’, so now I’m pretty sure he’s fucking with all of us.”
CSM Bowden did not respond to e-mails from Duffel Blog, which did not surprise MSG Hoskins.
“Oh, don’t get him started about e-mail or anything related to the internet. He’ll start yelling about ‘the tubes with the electrons and the world wide waaaablaaaaaaaaa…’”
Though TDB was denied access to the Sergeant Major’s office, several sources have confirmed a poster is prominently displayed containing the phrase “Jell-O Pudding. You can’t be a kid without it,” although they were unsure of its meaning.
Can you help us? We aren't some gigantic media corporation. Duffel Blog is literally just one guy editing a bunch of articles written by military contributors — all on a shoestring budget. If you love what we do, please donate a few bucks to keep our doors open. Even the smallest amount is a big help.