Michelle Obama Challenges Asma al-Assad To No-Holds-Barred WMD Cage Match
WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady Michelle Obama has challenged Asma al-Assad, wife of Syrian President Bashir al-Assad, to a sanctioned one night Pay-Per-View match for control of Syria’s Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD).
“Asma al-Assad. Whatchagonnado when the Let’s Move! Coalition goes wild on YOU?” said the First Lady to television cameras broadcast worldwide. “I’ve been training for this day by eating healthy, being active and signing up for email newsletters about community events. And what have you been doing? Hiding in a bunker and not getting at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. WOOOH!”
Michelle Obama’s manager, Barack “The Bomba” Obama, stood by her side making exaggerated head nods and shouting “uh, Oooooh Yesssss!” as the First Lady spoke.
“That is why I am calling you out – next Saturday, in Geneva, Switzerland LIVE on Pay-Per-View – to enter the ring for control of your husband’s WMDs. No, cruise missiles, no chemical weapons, just you and me, sister, and the thousands of Le…
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Duffel Blog to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.