FORT HOOD, TX — Sources confirmed today that the guy in the back of formation is doing that goddamn thing again. Contrary to express command, this dude just won’t stop, and that damn clicking noise is going to draw the first sergeant’s attention all the way from the back, reported observers.
“I mean, what the hell is that Autistic got in his head? Why do that with their hands and feet in the middle of close of business formation, the guy is just begging to get us all smoked,” said Specialist Jerome Teedle, a soldier in the second rank of the platoon formation.
In addition to getting smoked, everyone runs the risk of staying past close-of-business today, Friday, because of this assclown. Apparently, the guy in the back of formation was not hugged enough as a child, and therefore, acts out in inappropriate ways in order to garner attention, sources suggested.
The blue falcon, besides doing that fucking thing again, is also murmuring and just being a fucking creep with that horrible pedophilic grin and those beady eyes.
“That guy is really horrible. I mean, he constantly follows me around the motor pool and sneers at me,” said Private Jennifer Kreeble. “But, the thing in formation, that’s the worst, and he’s always fucking doing it.” she added.
At press time, teammates in the rear rank were cringing and praying that their platoon leader would pull this asswipe out of formation and make some on-the-spot corrections.
Barring this, they just hoped the first sergeant didn’t catch the guy and take it out on everyone.