Beetle Bailey Rebooted As ‘Sexy, Ultra-Violent Noir Graphic Novel’
CHICAGO — The long-running and beloved daily newspaper comic strip Beetle Bailey will get a gritty, in-your-face reimagining starting early next year. Syndicated Comics International, the conglomerate which publishes the Beetle Bailey strip and dozens of others, announced the reboot among a slew of other changes designed to reinvigorate the flagging medium.
Citing declining ad sales and demographic research confirming the need for a change, SCI Spokesman David Blagnosticus told reporters there was a need for "some new blood" in the authorship of the strip.
“Listen, we love Beetle, Sarge, General Halftrack, Miss Buxley and the whole Beetle Bailey crew,” insisted Blagnosticus, "but the younger generation is growing up with tablets and video mashups, instant tailored and targeted content at the touch of a button, graphic and vicious violence, and hot and cold running on-demand pornography. If you want to entertain them, you best come correct."
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