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A First Sergeant Flipped His Desk In Anger. What Happened Next Will Make You Shit Your Pants.

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Upworthy, the social news sharing website, is known for its interesting and engaging headlines, such as “You’ll Wonder Why This Video Is Edited Weirdly. Keep Watching For The Reveal” or “One Guy Is Responsible For Producing Most Of Your Favorite Songs, And You’ve Never Even Heard Of Him.”

However, many are unaware of Upworthy’s failed military section, oft plagued with poorly-worded headline choices or links that just failed to gain traction. Duffel Blog staff obtained 9 of those headlines and is reproducing them here.

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The First 8 Minutes Of First Sergeant’s Libo Brief Will Amaze You. The Last 90 Will Move You To Tears

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Navy

The History Of The Battleship In 15 Awesome Pictures

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Ah, battleships: is there anything more majestic than a set of sixteen-inch guns rising up in the air, ready to ejaculate a set of armor-piercing shells deep into whatever target happens to be nearby? There’s also speed, armor, maneuverability, and fire control, but we all know it really just comes down to the big guns. From 1880 to 1941 they were the most powerful ships to sail the waves and the pride of every navy.

They sparked an arms race which heavily contributed to the outbreak of World War I. Then in just a few years they vanished, replaced by aircraft carriers and submarines. Follow Duffel Blog as we take a look back on the history of the battleship.

Duffel Blog writer Dark Laughter contributed to this article.

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Marine Corps

The Top 10 Candidates For The Next Sergeant Major Of The Marine Corps

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As the Marine Corps prepares to select a new Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps, Duffel Blog has found several of the strongest contenders. This list is provided only for the information of junior Marines, and Duffel Blog reminds its readers that it would be inappropriate for junior Marines to discuss their own preference for the next sergeant major.

Rest assured, all the candidates listed are highly qualified, and any one of them would make an excellent Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps.

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1: Sgt. Maj. Brad Kasal

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Originally an assaultman, Sgt. Maj. Kasal is currently the sergeant major for the 4th Marine Division, the only reserve infantry division in the Marine Corps.

Sgt. Maj. Kasal has previously served as the sergeant major for Recruiting Station Des Moines, Iowa.

2: Sgt. Maj. Brad Kasal

070104-M-0000S-000Originally an assaultman, Sgt. Maj. Kasal does not have a particularly varied background, and has spent the majority of his career either recruiting Marines, training them, or deploying with them in infantry battalions, including 2/1, 1/4, 3/1, and 3/5.

He has previously served as the sergeant major for the School of Infantry (West) at Camp Pendleton.

3: Sgt. Maj. Brad Kasal

Kasal-usmc-navycrossOriginally an assaultman, Sgt. Maj. Kasal has a great degree of credibility among Marines of all ranks due to his combat experience, which ranges from the Gulf War in 1990 to Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2005.

For his heroic actions during the Battle of Fallujah, Sgt. Maj. Kasal was awarded the Navy Cross.

4: Sgt. Maj. Brad Kasal

kasal2Originally an assaultman, Sgt. Maj. Kasal was shot seven times after running into a house to save fellow Marines. He then used his own body to shield a wounded junior Marine from a grenade blast.

Between the bullets and pieces of shrapnel, Kasal took more than 50 wounds that day. That’s one for every 100 yards or so of a three mile run. Think about that when you’re too tired or sore to PT.

5: Sgt. Maj. Brad Kasal

070505-M-0000S-000Originally an assaultman, a young Sgt. Maj. Kasal was smoking the living piss out of your current sergeant major as a platoon sergeant at the School of Infantry when your sergeant major was a boot and the ink was still drying on your birth certificate.

It’s true, just ask your sergeant major.

6: Sgt. Maj. Brad Kasal

kasalOriginally an assaultman, Sgt. Maj. Kasal hates mess dress so much that he refuses to own a set.

 

 

7: Sgt. Maj. Brad Kasal

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Sgt. Maj. Kasal being carried out of the “House of Hell” in Fallujah.

Originally an assaultman, Sgt. Maj. Kasal is perhaps best known for this iconic image.

Note that Kasal had no problem remembering to keep his finger straight and off the trigger despite having just killed a man and losing over half the blood in his body. Weapons safety isn’t fucking rocket science, Marines.

8: Sgt. Maj. Brad Kasal

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Cover of Kasal’s book with Mattis’ recommendation on cover.

Originally an assaultman, Sgt. Maj. Kasal is well known for his book, pictured here with a recommendation from Gen. James Mattis.

The book has been placed on the Commandant’s Reading List, meaning that simply reading Sgt. Maj. Kasal’s words can potentially improve your cutting score.

 

9: Sgt. Maj. Brad Kasal

monumentOriginally an assaultman, Sgt. Maj. Kasal was once sent home on Friday with a severe case of the flu, told the docs he intended to defy medical science to come back on Monday, then somehow came in healthy after the weekend and ran his Marines into the dirt.

Following grievous battlefield wounds, when doctors advised Kasal to amputate his leg, the sergeant major remotivated the injured leg until it decided to walk again.

Sgt. Maj. Kasal was later immortalized  as a heroic-scale bronze statue at Camp Lejeune.

10: Sgt. Maj. Brad Kasal

view_13_Conan-The-Destroyer_gifOriginally an assaultman, Sgt. Maj. Kasal is not smiling as he reads this, because he’s busy readying Marines for the punishing trials of warfare, and you’re trying to distract him with stupid internet bullshit.

Correction: The choice of photo does not show Sgt. Maj. Brad Kasal. It is Conan the Destroyer. Duffel Blog regrets the error.

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Slideshows

11 Photos That Bring Back The Terrible Horrors Of War

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Most veterans who have gone to war in Iraq and Afghanistan understand they came back changed in some way. Whether it was seeing heavy combat or the DFAC running out of steak and lobster, there are clear triggers that can set off a service member’s nightmare of the war zone.

Click “Next” to see which photos terrify veterans the most.intro

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Slideshows

7 Hashtags The White House Used To Solve Major World Problems

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The White House has used social media very effectively in recent years. While great branding and internet savvy helped President Obama get elected, his staff has taken it up a notch to use those same practices to solve some of the world’s most pressing problems. From Syria to the Russian invasion of Ukraine, these hashtags have averted foreign policy blunders.

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Click “Next” to see which hashtags worked the best.1

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Navy

Top 13 Jobs Navy SEALs Take After Service

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Navy SEALs are among the best of the best of today’s military, but many move on to bigger and better things beyond having ripped abs and shooting things. We consulted with a number of both Navy SEAL and career experts to find the top jobs that many Navy SEALs transition into.

#13: Author of yet another goddamn Navy SEAL booksealbooks

#12: Token Military Analyst on the Fox News Channelfoxnew

#11: Extremely annoying CrossFit Trainercrossfit

#10: Loud asshole at bar talking politicsbar

#9: Governor of some hellhole wasteland midwestern state/conspiracy theoristventura

#8: CEO of major military contractor firm that will be later accused of war crimes and thrown out of country where it protects State Dept. officials

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Photo Credit: MaxMercy

#7: Overpaid technical consultant for military movies

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#6: Unintelligible juvenile delinquent boot camp instructorboot

#5: Political candidate who mentions he was a Navy SEAL a few hundred timespol

#4: International drug smugglerdrugmoney

 

#3: Porn star

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#2: Unemployed man living in mother’s basementunemploy

#1: Former Navy SEAL/nobodynobody

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Navy

9 Incredibly Badass SEALS

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SEALS are among the most badass creatures on the planet. With an incredible array of weapons, training, and tactics at their disposal, they are known for their battlefield exploits. Duffel Blog searched far and wide for some of the most notable examples of SEAL operations to bring you some of the best here.

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A SEAL calls for close air support after coming under heavy enemy fire in Afghanistan.

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“… the seal goes ow ow ow …” by Cloudtail

Trained in stalking, a SEAL stealthily emerges from the water off the coast of Libya during an operation to capture or kill a terrorist leader.

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A SEAL practices diving techniques while training in Coronado, Calif.

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After being inserted by a Navy warship in the Black Sea, this SEAL prepares for a long-range reconnaissance patrol inside Ukraine.

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This SEAL gives his teammate the “Go” signal before setting explosives on an Iranian ship bringing weapons into the West Bank.

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In a clearing found among dense jungle, a SEAL sets up satellite communications to send back a situation report on drug smugglers in an undisclosed South American country.

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Here a SEAL shows off his impressive array of edged weapons before gearing up for a raid.

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A SEAL lands on the beach in Somalia before conducting a raid on Al Shabaab terrorists.

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A SEAL lays on a crowded beach as researchers study it in its natural habitat.

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You’ve seen these totally badass SEALS …

slideNow check out:

Controversial ‘Navy SEAL Slide’ Move Now Taught At BUD/S >

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News

The 5 Most-Happening Military Spring Break Destinations

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Spring break may seem out of reach for military members these days, with increased work loads and shrinking budgets. But weekend duty or another free trip to Anheuser-Bush resorts may not be your only options. Duffel Blog teamed up with MilitaryVacations.com to put together a list of the best places for military members to visit, without spending a dime.

So get out your Administrative Action form and your Individual Augmentation request, because this list is sure to cure the service member’s spring-time blues.

#5 Kāneʻohe Bay, Hawaii

Hiking to the top of Chinaman's Hat in Kāneʻohe Bay is one of the challenges of being assigned to this island paradise.

Hiking to the top of Chinaman’s Hat in Kāneʻohe Bay is one of the challenges of being assigned to this island paradise.

When former Marines of Kāneʻohe Bay tell friends they served in the military, they try to avoid saying they did so in one of the world’s top vacation spots. With some of the best surfing in the world and a summer climate year round, the tropical island beats your shitty post in Alabama or the Mojave desert any day.

Avoid angry Samoans who want to kill you and killer waves on the North Shore that you know in your heart you can’t surf, and you are in for the best military-paid vacation of your career.

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