REPORT: Ukraine Menaced By Large Threatening Arrows
KIEV, Ukraine – Ukraine's acting president Oleksandr Turchynov has put out an international call for assistance after his nation came under threat from what he described as a group of large hostile arrows.
"We have received reports from border posts of many arrows of varying sizes moving towards Ukraine," Turchynov said in a panicked phone call. "They are coming by land, sea, the air! There is no stopping them!"
According to Turchynov, the arrows are pointing across the Ukrainian border and are poised to push deep into the country's vulnerable heartland.
No one knows what the strength, composition, or even demands of the arrows are. Turchynov described the arrows as various shades of red and said they had been lurking along Ukraine's eastern border for years, disguised as circles and squares and other innocent little shapes.
Turchynov said Ukraine's badly depleted arsenal of smaller arrows was already moving in full retreat away from the big arrows and has asked NATO and neighboring count…
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