Admin Review Finds Defense Secretary Hagel Actually Still Army Specialist
THE PENTAGON — An administrative review of military records has found that despite serving as the top civilian leader of the Pentagon for almost two years, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel is actually still an Army Specialist, Duffel Blog has learned.
Sources confirmed what many had suspected, as Hagel has been known to shrug off senior leadership and converse with junior enlisted troops whenever possible.
"Goddamn four-stars just ramble on about 'strategic oversight of combat' and 'stability operations at the theater level,'" Hagel said in a phone interview. "I just want to know what the fuck we're doing on Friday night."
The review, conducted by Army Human Resources Command, found that then-Sgt. Hagel was promoted in 1967 but the paperwork was filed incorrectly. Although he wore the rank of sergeant, Hagel was still an E-4 specialist, and through some glitch in personnel systems, continued in that capacity despite his belief he was discharged in 1968 after serving in Vietnam.
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