Gen. Dempsey Vows To Unmask The 'Doctrine Man'
THE PENTAGON — Gen. Martin Dempsey, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, has vowed to uncover the secret identity of the anonymous Army officer known as "Doctrine Man."
"We've assigned a special task force designed to hunt down the Doctrine Man and bring him to justice," Dempsey said, while motioning to a special "Doctrine Man" signal recently installed in the Pentagon.
Not much is known of the caped superhero, who in years past graced the pages of the New York Times. Some suspect he may be a billionaire defense contractor or perhaps a senior military official.
An origin story has it that Doctrine Man began as a humble doctrine writer at the Center for Army Doctrine Development in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. However, after watching his parents gunned down in front of him by Army officers taking things way too seriously, he vowed to rid the world of pointless Army bullshit.
In the ensuing years, Doctrine Man has foiled several sinister Pentagon plots, including a proposed medal for drone o…
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