Chairman Says 'Fuck This Noise' In New National Military Strategy
THE PENTAGON — Gen. Martin Dempsey, the outgoing Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, peppered the word "fuck" 257 times in the just-published "National Military Strategy of the United States of America 2015: Fuck This Noise and Suck My Chode." Reportedly part of his plan to "smear the walls of this office with shit" on his way out of the door, Dempsey drunkenly published an incomplete and unapproved draft of the National Military Strategy (NMS) last week.
By many accounts, Dempsey has been a loose cannon since his petition for a fifth star was rejected in March of this year. After seeing Secretary of Defense Ashton Carton wipe his ass with Dempsey's fifth star paperwork, Dempsey declared Iraq to be strategically insignificant and contradicted the president by discussing the possibility of ground troops in Syria. After being told that Gen. Joseph Dunford would replace him solely because Dunford, a Marine, was Ranger-qualified, Dempsey screamed "Obama!" into a poncho liner and began t…
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