Coast Guard Swimmer Only Saves People Who Believe In Our Lord And Savior Jesus Christ

MCKINLEYVILLE, Calif. (Jan. 29, 2009)- A crew member from Air Station Humboldt Bay is hoisted to the HH-65 Dolphin helicopter as a rescue swimmer hangs on the basket to help stabilize the lift during rescue swimmer training off of the Humboldt County Coast. Air crews frequently conduct training with other Coast Guard units to ensure that all crews are always ready. (Coast Guard photo/Petty Officer 3rd Class Kevin J. Neff)

SAN DIEGO — As the sun rises on the horizon off San Diego’s golden coast, bringing clarity and light to the day, a Coast Guard HH-65 Dolphin cuts through the air, and a rescue swimmer, Petty Officer 1st Class Chad Reinke, wrestles in his own personal half light with his responsibility as rescuer and protector for those who do not share his belief in his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

“While I witness this man sinking to the bottom of the ocean, I must ask myself: is this man committed to the Son of God himself? Does he trust God’s Love? Or, is he a sinful heathen that is succumbing to God’s plan?” Reinke pondered, debating his mission as a lifesaver in the United States Coast Guard and his role as one of God’s defenders against non-believers.

“How am I supposed to intercede in this situation when I don’t even know if this man has entrusted his heart and soul to God Himself, the Divine living within human flesh?” Reinke asks himself. “Perhaps there is a way to quickly question his faith before I perform my duty; like yelling, ‘Are you a man of faith?’ or ‘Did you pray this morning?’ ‘You can’t have me as your physical savior until you accept Jesus as your personal savior!’”

after struggling for months, and several drownings, Reinke talked to Pastor Phillips at his church, who suggested a Reinke resolve his conflict with a “win-win.”

“To cover my bases, I forcibly baptize drowning victims in San Diego Bay,” Reinke says. “Just in case this person has not gotten right with God or taken care of the original sin.”

Slab Squatthrust
When I was 8 years old, my 3rd grade teacher told me I was completely useless. A waste of human space and time taken from those who actually make an effort in this world. She hated me. Well guess what Mrs. Sonderman; fuck you. I hope you die alone and angry. Wait...what am I supposed to be writing here again?