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‘Black Lives Matter’ protesters disrupt ISIS beheading


AL-RAQQAH, Syria – Protesters from the group Black Lives Matter caused what observers called a “major headache,” so to speak, in Syria last Friday when they interrupted a public beheading being carried out by the group the Islamic State.

Abu Mohammad al-Adnani, a spokesman for the Islamic State, or ISIS, said the protesters had “stormed” the front steps of the town hall in Al-Raqqah, where ISIS fighters were about to behead four civilians for what al-Adnani called “the heinous crime of pigeon breeding.”

The protest group was led by Imani Mills, a 26-year-old community activist and aspiring motocross racer from Minneapolis, who claims she was attempting to highlight the glaring racial inequalities found throughout the Islamic State.

“Most people don’t realize that the Islamic State is the most dangerous place on earth to be a person of color,” said Mills. “Fully 100% of all violence in this country is carried out against people of color, making it worse than Nigeria, the Central African Republic, or even Baltimore.”

Mills added, “Every day people of color in the Islamic State are shot to death by the police or locked up in cages. ISIS needs to recognize its role in perpetuating this hetero-patriarchal state violence.”

While Black Lives Matters now contains 28 separate chapters, including one in Canada, its Syrian chapter is by far the least successful. According to Mills, the group originally just tried walking around downtown Raqqah yelling “Hands Up Don’t Shoot,” but were mistaken for a group of surrendering Syrian Army soldiers and gunned down.

Mills says they later tried unsuccessfully to disrupt a speech by ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi by waving signs which read “Ban the Box,” a movement to remove criminal records from job applications. However the phrase only led to confusion when ISIS members thought they were referring to the boxes the group puts collaborators in and sets on fire.

Last month they tried blocking the roads into Raqqah, chanting, “Shut this whole town down! The power, the roads, the water!” but gave up after they realized the Syrian Air Force had destroyed them all in a bombing raid several months earlier.

However, both al-Adnani and Mills said this latest protest had led to “productive dialogue” once ISIS’ leaders realized her storming the stage was not an attempted suicide bombing by their rival group Al-Nusrah Front.

Al-Adnani also said that ISIS would attempt to include a wider variety of races and ethnic groups in future executions and vowed to set up a multicultural “All Deaths Matter” Martyrs Brigade.

ISIS also declared a “period of reflection,” to avoid appearing racially insensitive and called off the remaining events of the day, including crushing several children with a bulldozer and immolating a suspected CIA spy.

See Also: Unemployed Anti-War Protesters Demand Syrian Invasion

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  1. I can’t believe people are turning this SATIRE blog into a serious p***ing contest!

  2. The enemy of my enemy is…uh…wait a minute. Um….enemy…my friend. Uh…we won’t get fooled again!

  3. Ummmm, I think we will see the natural law of selection take place on this group, whatever is left of it now.

    • When protesting inequity becomes branded equal to terrorism, what difference would there be when they instead pick up guns?
      After all, peaceful protest is equated to insurrection and murder, why not cut the middle man out by killing him?

      • Well, what precisely would you call a group that shows up somewhere, issues demands, and then riots, loots, pillages, burns buildings down, and openly assaults people in the streets?

        That’s been BLM’s playbook since day one, so you’ll understand if I think your label of “peaceful” protest is…hmm, how to put this intelligently…BS.

        • Ah, so if someone riots near a peaceful protest, all around are terrorists.
          So, want me to be at terrorist? So be it. Since peaceful protesting is terrorism and I’m a terrorist, I’ll bring guns next time for when someone attacks.
          Since I was part of a peaceful group that you call a terrorist and I also worked in counterterrorism. Now, I’ll be a terrorist, just to make you happy.

          • Well, ignoring your insistence on passive-aggressive whining for a bit in the interest of communicating like an adult, let’s actually talk for a moment about Islam. People say Islam is peaceful and doesn’t encourage terrorism. Fine, for the sake of argument I’ll take that at their word and move forward. You still have to ask yourself though…why is it that it continues to attract extremists, violent terrorists, etc.?

            Same applies here. For the sake of argument I’ll take your word for it that BLM is peaceful. If however your movement is constantly surrounded by people rioting and looting and attacking people in your name, over and over again, consistently since quite literally the moment of your foundation, sooner or later you have to ask why that is. If those people could be committing those acts in the name of quite literally anything, why do they consistently do it in the name of BLM?

            …do you suppose it has anything to do with the core BLM martyrs being violent thugs and criminals held up as shining examples to emulate? Nah, couldn’t be.

          • Well, as you brought a faith into it that I do have some experience with being around, if not practicing, I’ll say this.
            Islam is like many, many other faiths, abused to acquire power for the abuser.

            As for BLM, when even getting an impartial investigation is impossible, what else do you expect? Celebration of summary execution in our streets?
            That is what’s long been going on. While other groups are being killed, black people are being heavily over-represented in the fatalities and triage rules are to address the greatest number in need first and moving to smaller and smaller groups as each one’s needs are addressed.
            That beats the crap out of nya, nya, nya and ignore summary executions in US city streets!

          • Oh, shoot, actually, you’re right. I keep forgetting about the summary executions. You would of course be referring to the black-on-black gang violence that BLM is always condemning.

      • Stephen, I think it is not so much BLMs message, but their method in presenting it that has so many annoyed with them and tired of their antics.

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