Russia releases improved ‘director's cut’ of soldier calling airstrike on self
MOSCOW — Russian officials have released what critics are calling a better “director’s cut” of the conversation between a Russian Spetsnaz soldier and his commander in which the soldier intentionally called an airstrike on himself to destroy nearby ISIS fighters.
“We receive much criticism that first draft seem fake," says transcript author Rasputin Karenin. "At request of Tsar Putin, we review American propaganda masterpiece like American Sniper, Zero Dark Thirty, and OxiClean infomercial. We realize we had, as capitalist say, 'undersold' ourselves.”
Col. Vasili Pushkin, the commander who authorized the actual airstrike, appreciates the Kremlin having his character represented better in the updated transcript.
“Originally they make me sound like idiot robot, which is problem with, how you say, ‘pathos,’” Pushkin commented. "Now I courageously reinforce comrade, attempting to save him while slaying thousand of enemies."
“We also honor memory of fallen comrade," added Karenin. "We have new…
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