Report: Rolled sleeves authorized by every commander except yours
THE PENTAGON — Army Chief of Staff Gen. Mark “The Soldier's General” Milley has authorized the wear of rolled sleeves with the camo facing out.
The uniform change comes after the Apocalypse failed to occur during a ten-day trial period at Fort Hood. It applies to every soldier, across every post, and at any time of year — with the caveat that it is subject to unit Commander's approval.
Which you will not be getting, according to unit sources.
“It's bad enough that we've got PV2s in multicam and lieutenants in ACU,” your commander slurred to a profoundly confused first sergeant. “Rolled up sleeves can only lead to crossed arms and visible tattoos. Not fucking happening.”
He learned of the change at approximately 3:25am last night while he was searching for images of his ex-wife's new boyfriend on Facebook. He immediately lunged for his phone to alert his still-sleeping NCOs, nearly spilling the half-empty bottle of schnapps by the keyboard.
A majority of sergeants major who took part in the…
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