INSIDE YOUR HEAD — Sorry to wake you. I just wanted to remind you, don’t forget your rifle before you go out on patrol. Wait, where is your rifle? Oh, right next to you. Whew.
Also, you remember that time at Basic when like, six drill sergeants were screaming at you, and everyone else was getting smoked because you didn’t fill up your canteen? Better get up and check that they’re topped off again, just in case.
So, I was just thinking about that board you’ve got coming up next week. Are you sure you’re ready? There’s a lot of material there; I hope you don’t get blindsided with a technical question, or — God forbid — you flub one of the creeds you were supposed to memorize.
Oh, and now that you’re a team leader, wouldn’t it be a pain in your ass if Pvt. Jenkins didn’t show up tomorrow, then told everyone you didn’t give him the right SP time? Man, that would be crazy.
Hey, I was just thinking about that buddy of yours from the last deployment. What was his name? The guy who laughed and kicked that cardboard box with all the wires sticking out of it? I’m sure you remember that, it was right in front of you. What was his name again? All I can remember is the way your officers’ voices sounded on the radio, all freaked out and confused, like they didn’t really know what to do. Boy, we’ve really had some adventures, you and me.
Oh, before I forget, what was it your wife was saying on the phone last night? I couldn’t really make out the whole conversation over everyone else laughing and carrying on at the phone bank. It was something about the guy from work, I think. Wasn’t it about how funny he is, or was it about how he’s really helping her get settled in at her new job? It’s so nice to know that he’s willing to stay late with her just to go over things and make sure she’s adjusting to life without you.
Anyway, I’ll let you go. It’s 0200, and you’ve got a big day tomorrow. We’ll talk again in an hour.
Check out After Action with Max & Paul, an awesome new podcast featuring the creators of Terminal Lance and Duffel Blog.