Soldier who joined military for access to USO Lounges questioning life choices

U.S. service members are seen entering and leaving the United Service Organization at the Baltimore Washington International airport, June 5, 2012. The USO International Gateway Lounge at BWI airport is a 5,000 square feet facility serving 99 percent of the U.S. armed forces traveling to and from duty stations in Europe, Southwest Asia, and the United States.

CHARLOTTE, N.C.— A soldier in the bathroom of the USO Lounge at Charlotte/Douglas International Airport was reportedly screaming, “What have I done?” over and over again for several hours last Thursday.

Lounge attendant James Abrams says the screaming began at 8am and continued through noon with only small breaks for loud sobbing.

The soldier was identified as Pfc. Robert Bamford by his travel buddy, Pfc. Steven Albright. Albright stood close to the door knocking intermittently and asking if he was ok.

Albright informed the concerned active duty and veterans on hand that Bamford primarily enlisted in the military “because he wanted access to the USO.”

The USO lounge is a space that provides military veterans a place to relax during long layovers. Visitors enjoy some free snacks, and a chance to put the unattended children of some colonel in their place with an ass-whooping in Call of Duty.

“He hated layovers so much and wanted access to the lounge,” says Albright. “Now we’re here at the airport, just waiting for our flight to head over to Afghanistan on our first deployment, when he just started screaming.”

Bamford’s parents were contacted to see if there was any way to get him out of the lounge so that the retirees on their way to Florida could enjoy the free hot dogs and continue telling the same war stories over and over again.

The parents told staffers who called that Bamford had a history of “volunteering so he’d get some perks,” only to break down in tears when it was time to earn them.

“One time he signed up to go bungee jumping because they gave you a really cool t-shirt after the jump,” says his mother.

“Or that time he volunteered at a nursing home to get WWE RAW tickets. He cried a lot then, too.”

The USO lounge experienced a brief sense of hope when Bamford stepped out of the bathroom around 1030, but were quickly disappointed when he went over to get some free peanut butter crackers and returned to the bathroom.

Wob Weego

Air National Guard is the tip of the spear. Stand up comic and co-host of the Excuse Me History Podcast. Follow me @WobWeego