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Trump calls for Constitutional ban on Gold Star families talking about him


WASHINGTON — Just one week after a Muslim-American Gold Star family criticized him at the Democratic National Convention, Donald Trump called for a constitutional amendment that would ban families who have lost a child to combat from talking about him.

“Mr. Khan who has never met me, has no right to stand in front of millions of people and claim I have never read the Constitution, (which is false) and say many other inaccurate things,” Trump said in a statement. “If I become President, I will make America safe again.”

Sources say that unfortunately, both Khizr Khan and his wife Ghazala have a Constitutional right to stand in front of millions of people and claim that Trump has never read the Constitution, but Trump is calling for Republican lawmakers to add a 13th Article to fix such a glaring discrepancy in the document.

The father of Army Capt. Humayun Khan spoke about his son, who was killed in Iraq in 2004 while heroically protecting his men from a suicide bomber. He also asked whether Trump had read the Constitution, and criticized him as never sacrificing anything.

The claim that Trump has never sacrificed anything has been largely debunked however, since he would have served in the Vietnam War but slept with multiple women during the time instead. “It [was] my personal Vietnam,” he said of the harrowing ordeal. “Now that was some bad bush.”

His almost wartime military service during the 1970s came after he was commissioned in the almost military while attending the New York Military Academy in the early 1960s.

He also created thousands of jobs, which no doubt must have taken a lot of out of him.

Still, more than a dozen Gold Star families, the Veterans of Foreign Wars, more than 40 veterans from Medal of Honor hero Dakota Meyer to ex-Navy SEAL James Waters, and sources say, the campaign press secretary who is currently fielding call after call from reporters from a dark corner closet in Trump Tower, all have asked for Trump to apologize.

“I really feel for these people, I do. Honestly, they have gone through so much, can you imagine? I can’t imagine, but can you imagine? The pain these people have gone through. The pain,” Trump told reporters.

“It must be just unreal. Their son was a hero. Absolutely. No question. He fought against radical Islamic terrorists, which is the real issue. That’s the real issue. Radical Islamic terrorists would love to introduce Sharia law and restrict our most basic freedoms. That’s the real issue here.”

The GOP presidential candidate’s push for Gold Star families to remain silent follows a similar push from former President George W. Bush, who famously called in the Texas National Guard to forcibly remove Cindy Sheehan — a Gold Star mother protesting the Iraq War — from his ranch and detain her at Guantanamo Bay.

Trump later indicated that he might expand the Constitutional ban on speech to cover reporters, Mexicans, Democrats, and anyone who makes fun of combovers.

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  1. It needs to be remembered that Capt. Khan’s family was put on the media stage as political hobby horses, so Hilly-Billy Clinton and the Democants could use them as political cannon fodder. And, Capt. Khan would most likely still be alive, if Bush, Sr., had taken out Saddam Hussein in 1991, like he should have. But you won’t hear the media tell THAT TRUTH, will you?….But at least sales of “pocket Constitutions” have gone up dramatically! Capt. Khan, R.I.P. Gone but NOT forgotten….killed by a radical Islamic terrorist suicide bomber!….
    God Bless America, and VOTE President Trump! (see, i told ya’ dis wuz a comedy site!…..
    (c)2016, Tom Clancy, JR., *NON-fiction

    • President H.W. Bush’ fault? That’s just what the liberal media wants you to think. Actually, the real TRUTH that the media refuses to print is that CPT Khan’s death was really the fault of the British when they cut and run from their occupation of Iraq in 1947. When we all get tired of winning (due to what economists are now calling an imminent “winning bubble” in the economy) and Trump becomes World President, he is really going to open all of our eyes to the TRUTH. Where’s your fact check now, media? Sad!

      • The British fault? Trust you GoPes and cuckservatives to put the blame on the proud white sons of England, who built a proud white empire and were almost not racist at all, let me tell you. THe blame for mr. Kahns death can be placed firmly at the feet of the Turko-tatar Ilkhanate of the 13th century wich ocupied the land after the Mongol invasion and brought unrest to the otherwise tranquil and idyllic haven. When Donald Trump becomes sultan of the entire Umma through acclamation due to just keeping on winning so darned much, he will take this up with the dastardly mongolians and make them pay for the death of every single US soldier. Through tariffs. And as the chinese wisely figured, and they are so much smarter than us, let me tell ya, ripping us off, the solution to the mongol problem is to build a wall.

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