Army private excited to attack Mosul at 0400 with company-strength element

intel SCIF

STAGING AREA OUTSIDE MOSUL, Iraq —  An Army private says he’s very excited that he and his company-sized element will be attacking into the city of Mosul from the northwest, sources on Facebook confirmed this morning.

“Hey everyone! I’m so excited, it’s almost time for my first chance of combat!” Pvt. Lane Torrance wrote in a public Facebook post on Tuesday evening. “In fact, only one of the 20 US advisors to Iraq forces has ever deployed before. Except for Sgt. 1st Class Jimbo Johnson of Alaska. He’s a badass, and he’s been deployed seven times. When he’s not overseas he’s managing the local Long John Silvers on Main Street in Juneau.”

Sources say Torrance — who has a profile photo of him with a cigarette dangling from the corner of his lip as he holds a M240L machine gun that he is not allowed to carry — also reported being a little bit nervous about his first taste of combat, though he was confident in the battle plan his lieutenant had told him, which he shared in the post.

“Intel’s reporting a lot of enemies on the southern bank of the Tigris five miles from the city. I’m nervous but Sarge said not to worry. We’re going to have air and artillery support for the first 16 hours of the battle until the weather worsens. We’ll be exposed overnight during the dark hours, but ISIS won’t know that so it’s fine,” he added.

Prior to Torrance and his company stepping off early Wednesday morning, he warned that he might not post as much to Facebook for a while. Still, he told his family, friends, thousands of random people on Facebook, and ISIS leadership that there was a way to track his movements in real-time.

“I won’t be posting any more Facebook updates for a while but I’ll have my iPhone Location Services on so you all can track me live,” he wrote. “I’ll upload some dead-people selfies to Twitter too once the battle has settled down.”


Check out After Action with Max & Paul, an awesome new podcast featuring the creators of Terminal Lance and Duffel Blog.

military working dog

Army kicks out racist military working dog

no balls marine corps

Marine Corps unveils new recruiting slogan: ‘No Balls’