Marine Corps unveils new recruiting slogan: ‘No Balls’

no balls marine corps

QUANTICO, Va. — The U.S. Marine Corps has officially unveiled its new recruiting slogan to replace its classic “The Few, The Proud” with one primed to inspire a modern generation: “No Balls.”

“The old slogan did a decent job of distinguishing us from the other branches,” said Lt. Col. John Caldwell, a spokesman for Marine Corps Recruiting Command. “But we needed new products to frame who we are and what we do in the 21st Century.”

Caldwell went out of his way to explain the new campaign is not related with efforts to integrate women into combat roles. He further dismissed any notion the new slogan was insinuating anything to do with courage as patriarchal and hateful.

“It doesn’t have anything to do with that,” Caldwell said. “It has everything to do with clearly defining who we are as a modern Marine Corps. We’re simply saying some Marines have ovaries on the inside, and some have ovaries on the outside. That’s the fighting spirit of the organization and that’s the fighting spirit of all Marines.”

A number of popular alternatives may also appear on future advertising campaigns once approved by Marine Corps leadership later this year. These include: “We Don’t Promise You A Cis-Gendered Garden,” and “We’re Looking For A Few Good Societal Issues That Have Nothing To Do With War-fighting.”

Caldwell was unavailable for further comment since he was already late for his scheduled gender reassignment surgery.


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2 Comments

  1. The first sign impression I got when at PI (Parris Island) was a strong adherence to traditions. We don’t change slogans because other branches senior officers want a message that appeals to the young generation obviously to attract more quality members.

    Our identity is captured in the burning hearts and minds of all generations before and after because in retrospect that’s what it takes to be a U.S Marine. That message has resonated across all generations consistently. It has not changed and nor should it ever change. So if we don’t need to change our core competence why do we really need to change our message? I”ll assume it’s politics, at which point I want all Marines to get out of their graves and haunt/hunt down the officials and senior officers that are mandating these changes.

    No one is arguing the Corp has to adapt and thus change to meet the demands of the world. However, the messages do not have to change. Why change a tradition of consistent messages that the world knows has been working for well over two centuries. SemperFi

  2. Contrary to Col. Caldwell’s statement, I’m completely certain that Chesty, Dan Daly, A.J. Kellogg (my First Sgt and a MOH Recipient), or any “true” Teufel Hunden did NOT have any ovaries (nor do I!)… inside or out!

    With respect to these “role model” Marines, and the more recent statistic confirming that more than 85% of female “Marines” (I use the term loosely) failed combat fitness tests (Google it.. you’ll find an abundance of confirmations out there), the Corps is clearly not even a shadow of what it once was.

    God simply didn’t make women for combat!

    I’m not a male chauvinist… just a firm believer in our traditional roles! Women were created to support and nurture… not “hook and jab”!

    Semper Fi!

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