Hot dog-eating contest replaces Army/Navy football game
BALTIMORE, MD — The historic tradition of inter-service rivalry between the Army Black Knights and the Navy Midshipman has been canceled by officials, who decided to change the competition to a hot dog eating contest, a sport that is said to better represent both of the services.
Army leadership has recognized a ''cultural shift'' amongst soldiers to eat more calories than they need, according to source.
''This is a new era, and I believe we have to be more inclusive when it comes to our beloved traditions,'' said commandant of the United States Military Academy Brig. Gen. Diana Holland. ''Soldiers love to eat. Especially the lower enlisted. As officers, it is our duty to celebrate the entire Army. Besides, the whole football thing hasn't been working out very well for us lately, so eating an unhealthy food like a hot dog over and over, that may be something we can win at.''
''There's not a doubt in anyone's mind this is a much needed change,'' said Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus. ''I f…
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