Mattis attends confirmation hearing wearing only Spartan helmet and 'Fuck ISIS' boxers
Retired Marine Gen. James Mattis, President-elect Donald Trump's pick for defense secretary, attended his Thursday confirmation hearing wearing only a Spartan helmet and boxers emblazoned with the words "Fuck ISIS" on them, sources confirmed.
A number of senators on the Armed Services Committee expressed shock after the 66-year-old entered the room shirtless, though some female staffers reportedly swooned over the retired general's ripped 8-pack abs.
"I only came here to do two things: kick some ass and drink some beer," Mattis said before removing his helmet and taking a seat at the witness table. "Looks like we're almost outta beer."
Fortunately, before Mattis murdered someone due to the alcohol oversight, a number of congressional aides refilled the pitcher in front of him with his favorite brew while others shined his black jungle boots, which still had fresh blood on them from a brief deployment he personally made to Raqqa before the hearing.
In a brief opening statement, Mattis told…
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