SEAL Team 6 raid on Baghdadi home cancelled due to Calibri font use in PowerPoint

TAMPA — A raid by the Navy’s SEAL Team 6 to kill or capture the leader of ISIS was cancelled this morning after the operations officer helping to plan the mission used the Calibri font in his PowerPoint briefing, sources confirmed.

According to senior defense officials, the briefing at US Central Command began in the usual way, with weary and depressed staff officers clutching their coffee & iPhones while wishing they were someone else.

That’s when Lt. Col. Jack Bremen noticed the operations officer was using Calibri font again. Sources say he also wasn’t using the new slide format that was published in the last fragmentary order sent to the staff, FRAGO 95.002 to OPORD 17-13.

Bremen immediately stopped the briefing, yelled at the operations officer in front of his colleagues for several minutes, and then cancelled the briefing and the mission.

“I’m disappointed to be honest,” Bremen said, according to witnesses, who described the officer as visibly agitated. “Our process is the most important aspect of staff work. This isn’t the first time the OpsO has used Calibri font, so I’m forced to do the only thing I can I do.”

Bremen cancelled the mission, which could have resulted in a SEAL Team taking out Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the top leader for the terror group.

“Because our intel was precise and time sensitive, we won’t get another chance at this,” Bremen later told reporters. “Al-Baghdadi is going to stay on the street, and it will probably cost more American lives. I hope the OpsO is happy with himself.”

Despite the mission being cancelled, Bremen has rescheduled the briefing for 2000 hours tomorrow for the entire staff, “just to make sure we practice what right looks like.”

Bremen is also requiring all officers to bring a hard copy of the proper slide format that was sent out in the fragmentary order. Officials say he will only accept color printed copies, four slides per page, double-sided, portrait layout, 1-inch margins, at 600 dpi.

According to Bremen, this is so everyone has the correct slide “in his toolbox.”


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