WASHINGTON — Senior Pentagon officials have privately expressed suspicions that President Donald Trump’s understanding of military affairs may largely be based on 1980’s action films, sources confirmed.
Trump reportedly called the Pentagon last week to inquire about a recently-sighted Russian spy ship off the East Coast, and asked whether it was powered by a top-secret naval propulsion system which its disillusioned captain may secretly intend to deliver to the United States in a brazen act of defection.
The call was the latest in a string of statements from Trump since January that suggest his military policies may align with various national security experts, such as Dutch from “Predator,” and Maj. Scott McCoy from “Delta Force.”
Just days after he took office, the commander-in-chief interrupted a summary of Chinese drone capabilities to ask whether the US military was capable of sending a single highly-trained serviceman back in time to “stop all this cybercomputer stuff” in the event that “it ever gets out of control.”
Reports have also surfaced that Trump recently succeeded in getting Defense Secretary Jim Mattis to concede that, should a U.S. pilot be captured by hostile forces in the Middle East, a response named Operation IRON EAGLE would “really let [the enemy] know we mean business.”
Sources say that over the weekend Trump asked Secretary of the Army Robert Speer whether the service maintained a list of disgraced former Special Forces soldiers — “tough hombres who got slammed for doing the right thing,” according to one source — who could be called up for an off-the-books, near-suicide mission deep into enemy territory if necessary.
“I was just ordered to provide an assessment of our ability to recruit high school students as a stay-behind guerilla force in the event of a foreign airborne invasion of Colorado,” said one Army colonel.