OCEANSIDE, Calif. — Marine Sgt. Brent Walls, who enjoys healthy interpersonal relationships, high self-esteem and a Johnson bigger than three family-sized cans of Dinty Moore Stew stacked on top of each other, revealed the key to success during a drunken Snapchat ramble on Saturday, according to several sighing witnesses.
“You have to be in control. You have to let women know where they stand and you’ll be a success like me,” said Walls on the Snap-story, smoking an American Spirit on the top bunk of his studio apartment bunk bed. “Like these wooks in my Marine Corps. They don’t belong with us and I let them know it. They can’t hide anywhere on my internet. And those sluts still want this dick.”
Marine Corps veteran and bottom bunk inhabitant Shaun Hines, 34, creator of the F’in Wook’in Knifehand’in Tip Of The Spear’in Big Swing’in Americ’in Dick’in Boot Patriot Sheepdogs Thank Me For My Service 34.7 IIIVI We R Watching You Alphas United Facebook page, could be heard echoing his sentiments in the background.
“These bitches don’t know the bond of brotherhood and they gotta know their place. That’s why I run my page for men only. Warfighters only. These bitches don’t know anything about honor, courage or preventing 22 a day,” shouted Hines, between sips of a flat, warm Hurricane 40oz. “They didn’t have the balls to be born a man. The only time wooks succeed is if they’re on their knees. When I succeed I’m reminding them of that.”
Mother of his daughter and estranged girlfriend Kylee Walls, 25, said the Snap-story ended with Brent posting a long string of selfies using the dog-face filter, unaware of the pocket pussy still visible next to his drool stained, un-cased pillow.
“Every time he goes on Facebook and calls a woman a whore he brightens up a little. When he spends enough time doing that, the child support comes in on time and he does well on his PFTs. I think it reminds him of his dad and that does him good.”
“And it’s in no way a defense mechanism to cope with a life filled with disillusionment and rejection,” she added.