The following is a brief given by the motivated Mullah Al Habib to new ISIS insurgents before they leave for Europe.
Okay, listen up men! Today is the first day of a brand new assignment, and I know you’re excited to get out there and serve your country, but we need to go over your foreign duty station brief first.
I know, I know. I can practically see your eyes glazing over already.
But believe me, as soon as you set foot out there, you’re gonna have a gigantic target painted on your back.
They’re gonna see your face, know you’re not from here, and that immediately puts you into the forefront of their minds. They’re worried. People who look like you sometimes go out and hurt people who look like them, and then all hell breaks loose. There’s nothing we can do about the reputation we already have.
What I’m trying to get at, boys, is that every minute you’re in a foreign country, you are an ambassador for our nation.
Everything you do, they will be watching, and your actions will reflect on all of us.
So don’t be acting the fool, wearing our flag as your shirt or getting a tattoo of our emblem. You know, dumb shit. We don’t need people talking in whispers any time we set foot in a place just because some stupid boot was here last week, acting up and causing trouble.
So I want you to promise me you’ll go into this beautiful new country and keep yourselves calm and cool. Just lay low and remember our mission, you copy? Come on, war fighters, I can’t hear you!
All right, I see the heads nodding and eyes shifting toward the door, so let’s end this with some motivation on three.
I want some damn volume, make sure your fallen brothers can hear you! Ready? THREE, TWO, ONE, KILL!