Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views :
img

New check out service allows Marines to sleep through last 3 months of contract

/
/

JACKSONVILLE, N.C. — A controversial business called Dropped Pack Check Out Service has taken the Camp Lejeune area by storm with a new service that promises to take on the often painstaking process of checking out prior to the end of a Marine’s contract.

“You name it, we do it,” said Marcus Bufort, the company’s founder. “IPAC, SEPS and TAPS, CIF, all of it. We chase down the entire alphabet soup of obscure acronyms while you dream about not shaving. You’ve served enough already, let us serve you. For a price, of course.”

According to Bufort, the company got its start during his own checkout process from the Marines.

“I picked up a check out sheet 4 months before EAS so I could skate,” Bufort explained. “My platoon sergeant thought I was checking out, but I was actually just sleeping the whole time. And in the midst of all that stress, I saw dollar signs.”

For now, DPCOS only offers its service to troops who are coming to the end of their active duty service. But, Bufort said, it may soon expand to unit check-outs and offer its employees to stand barracks duty while you are out at the bar.

“We’re located in the second deck lounge of HP 425. Come see us, we guarantee satisfaction and obscurity. All ranks welcome.”

Recommended For You:

It is main inner container footer text
The military's best doctors are so close to finding a cure for butt hurt.
Enter your email below to be notified as soon as they make a breakthrough, and get regular updates from Duffel Blog — the best military site in the world.
Your email is protected from spam and Chinese hackers, which is more than we can say for people working at the Pentagon.